Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
