There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
