I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
