did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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