So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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