Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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