Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
