i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
