Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize