True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
