question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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