We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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