worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize