And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
