My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
