FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
