trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
