can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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