playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Idk if I want to put a bra on
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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