Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
