Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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