Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize