i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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