I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
