i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
