i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
