I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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