what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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