I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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