He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think a kid would responsible me up
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Randomize
