Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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