its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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