week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
