bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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