Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize