At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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