why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
