Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize