it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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