and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
