Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
