waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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