He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
is wine microwaveable?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
a search helicopter?!
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
