how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
