Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize