My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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