Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
