doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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