Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
