I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
