dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You're like the curious george of whores
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
