listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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