We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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