Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
