Jerry, you need to find god
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
