i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize