I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
