Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Randomize
