I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
