biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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