I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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