before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
