Sponge bath it is.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize