Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
