Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I am puke
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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