got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
