SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
