does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
