so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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