Whod you bang
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
