our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
