i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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